The broken doll
by KyrieEleisonElise
Summary: It's been three years since Nagisa snapped and now everyone's left to pick up the pieces.
1. Chapter 1

**Sequel to my story 'Nagisa snaps', (So you'll have to read that semi-crack fic and the epilogue if you want to understand this one). This is set almost three years after the incident. 'Nagisa snaps' takes place in December 2013 (or whatever year the manga is set) and this story starts July 2016.**

* * *

July 20th.

Today was the day Nagisa turned 18. Unlike most teenagers who would be excited to become adults, he was dreading it. He wasn't expecting birthday present or a party like a normal kid, his 'birthday present' was being moved from a child psychiatric to an adult asylum.

Sure, the place he was now wasn't nice, but he had gotten used to it; The white walls and beds and the staff who were never kind nor cruel. He knew in an adult facility he would have less protection, he had heard horrible stories about what goes on there from the other inmates here.

 _But no matter what bad things happen to me, I deserve it after all I've done._

Nagisa reminded himself, as he did ever day that he had killed seven people and hurt countless more. He had damaged the people he cared most about.

That was almost three years ago, since then he had spent his life locked in a psychatric hospital. It wasn't so bad seeing the same four walls every day. Most of the time they drugged him so heavily that he couldn't even think straight, it was better that way though. Being alone with his thoughts was the worst thing. Because he couldn't forget the faces of the people he had hurt (Especially Karma).

He hadn't seen anybody from his old life since the incident. He didn't blame them, Even his father had never once visited. Nagisa had just been left locked up to waste away with his guilt. But on the day of his Birthday, Nagisa got an unexpected gift.

"Letter for you, patient 11." The Nurse said, handing him some paper. Nagisa looked up from the table he was sat at, shocked- he had _never_ once gotten a letter. Was this some kind of joke? She handed him the thin white piece of paper, and despite the censor marks, he recognised the writing instantly.

 _Karma_

Memories flooded Nagisa's mind, going the cinema with Karma in Hawaii, beating up the kidnappers with him in Kyoto, Karma's laugh, the look of trickery in his amber eyes (Karma's tear stained face as he carved his own name into his arm). With shaking hands Nagisa opened the letter.

* * *

Karma stared down at the glass of wine in his hands and took a long sip. It tasted cheap and sour but he didn't mind. _Happy Birthday, Nagisa._ He thought bitterly as he downed it. He wondered as he did everyday what him and Nagisa would be doing if the latter hadn't snapped and become a serial killer.

"You aren't old enough to be drinking!" Akari said, suddenly in his room, her golden eyes looked annoyed and sad at the same time, her hair was long black and glossy.

"And you don't have permission to be in my room." The red haired boy said, rolling his eyes at her. She looked very different now compared to the days when she was 'Kaede Kayano'.

"Your parents let me in." She said, sticking out her tongue. she sat down on the bed next to him, her face transforming from angry to sympathy. "Today's tough on you too, huh?"

Karma didn't reply at first and he didn't have to, him sitting alone drinking wine was indicator enough that he was feeling depressed. "I Just keep wondering what he's doing. It is his birthday. Is he locked away in some room somewhere?"

Akari poured herself a small glass of wine, then pulled out a stack of letters from behind her back. "Your parents told me to give you these- want me to chuck them?" She asked.

"Nah," Karma said, eyeing the letters warily. Ever since the Nagisa incident Karma and the other victims (but mostly Karma had been bombarded with letters). Most were sickeningly supportive, saying things like ' _I know we've never met but I will always be here for you, you are such a brave inspiration to me'._ That annoyed Karma, he hadn't done anything to be inspirational, all he had done was get kidnapped, he hadn't managed to save anyone, he just had bad shit happen to him.

Other people got sick thrills by sending threatening letters like ' _I will finish what Nagisa-Samma started'_. But it was all bullshit.

Since the new film about the Kunugigaoka slasher's coming out soon, the amount of letters had only increased.

"I wonder when this will end." Akari said, sipping her wine. Karma looked at her questioningly. "When will our life stop being about the slasher incident.. When will Nagisa's shadow stop looming over us?"

Karma shrugged- Part of him didn't want people to stop harassing him about the slasher incident though. It was a way to keep his connection to Nagisa. Nagisa terrified him, was still in his nightmares, but he didn't know what his life would be now without his influence. He was too caught up to escape, his heart was still tied to Nagisa's kitchen chair.

"I want to visit him, you know." The Red head said all of a sudden, Akari did a spit-take, and spat her wine back into her glass.

"Tell me you're joking!" The Raven haired cried. "Revisiting all _that_ will only make it worse! You've only just started to get less obsessive about the incident."

"I've only gotten better at hiding it." Karma admitted, "I've tried pretending it didn't happen, it might of worked for you and the others but it isn't working for me. I don't think I can lay this to rest until I see him."

"Karma.." Akari sighed with a sad look in her eyes. Karma felt the scar on his arm tingle as he talked about Nagisa. He really wanted to run his hand along it and feel the familiar bumps and scar tissue. His connection to Nagisa.

"I will see him."

* * *

 **Just warning ahead of time, things are going to get bad for the characters, but maybe they'll have a happy ending, review if I should continue, tell me what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

**This took me a while to write, I hope you like, thanks for the reviews please send more if you want me to write more!**

* * *

Nagisa stared up at the ceiling, his entire body in pain. He felt as if every cell had been ripped out and burned. He could hardly think straight because of the agony. Last month, instead of being taken to an adult facility like he thought he would be, he had been carted off to what appears to be a laboratory of some sort.

Nobody would explain anything to him. Masked scientists would stick needles into his arms, and run electric currents through his body without a word. Even if he screamed they'd just gag him and carry on going, as if he were some sort of object, an experiment and not a person.

They kept a blindfold on him half the time so he was left in disorientating darkness, alone, terrified and in pain. It was impossible to work out were he was, and what was going on- was he even still in Japan? The only thing they really did say to him was.

" _Cooperate with us."_ Not that Nagisa was left with much of a choice. But sometimes they asked him to report on how he felt when they stuck needles through him, and injected him with various things. The reward for complying was being able to send and receive letters from the outside world.

Nagisa picked up a pen. He had a few hours alone in his dark isolated cell. Reading Karma's letter was the only way he had kept himself from slipping away from reality entirely. Now it was time to reply.

 _To Karma,_

 _This letter is hard to write. I have no idea what to say to someone who I've done such terrible thing to._

 _You have no idea how much your letter means to me. It's my one piece of salvation in this current life of mine. Don't get me wrong- I'm not looking for pity. I know I deserve whatever I get from now on. But I just want you to know, you mean a lot to me._

 _I've done too many terrible things to ever be forgiven. I know that now. But still, I want you to know that I am sorry, from the bottom of my heart. If I could kill myself to bring everyone else back, I would without a second thought. I think about killing myself a lot, lately, but I think I still have to atone for my sins (That and a mental-ward is suicide proof)._

 _I can't tell you much about my current situation, and I really don't want to. But I'm glad that your Ok. Physically at least. I'm so sorry about the scars, both on your skin and on your soul. Whatever you do, don't blame yourself. This is all my fault, and my fault alone._

 _I'm so glad that everyone in E-Class still stays in contact. But what happened to Takebayashi? The Doctors decided to censor it in my letter because it might be 'upsetting'. I'm worried now. Please tell me he's alive! I'm sorry for ruining our safe place in E class and turning it into something corrupt. But I'm glad you managed to work together to assassinate Koro-Sensei like we always wanted. I wish I hadn't snapped. I wish I could of been there._

 _I haven't seen any of Kayano/Akari's new movies. I don't have a TV were I am at. I would like to though. I miss her._

 _I can't believe they're turning this tragedy into a slasher movie and aren't even making in realistic! And I'm being played by a girl because 'Male Yandere characters wouldn't appeal to a main-stream audience'- What a great way to turn my mental breakdown into a anime trope. Anyway. I guess its not my place to complain. I've done things far worse than make a bad movie. The movie, the cult following, the school being turned into a ghost spot- it all seems to surreal._

 _I would love for you to visit me, if only so that I could apologize. But don't force yourself. Do whats best for you- you deserve to be happy, Karma (I'm sorry, that must be lame coming from the guy who destroyed your happiness)._

 _\- Nagisa x_

* * *

Karma sighed as he finished reading Nagisa's letter for the tenth time that day. He slipped it into his bag as he walked into the hotel function room that held the E-class reunion. Instantly, he was pulled into a hug by Meahara.

"Karma!" The peppy blond cried, wrapping his arms around him, grinning. "We were starting to think you wouldn't show up, dude!"

"Sorry. I got a little held up." Karma said vaguely, not even bothering to come up with a decent excuse; In truth, he had gotten Nagisa's letter in the post just before he was about to leave for this 3-E get together, and he spent the next hour or so re-reading the letter and trying not to have a panic attack, while also feeling a sick sense of excitement. He hadn't heard from Nagisa since three years ago- but here it was, proof of that boy's existence. He was more than just a nightmare, he was a person.

"Well, I'm glad you could make it, Karma." Isogai said, giving him his classic Ikeman smile. Both he and Maehara looked older, more mature and handsome than their middle school selves. But their smile stayed the same.

"So- how's things with Kataoka?" Karma asked him, a smile playing on his lips (He could pretend to be normal for a little while). Isogai's cheeks went a little pink.

"Great." He answered with a genuine smile. "it's nearly our one year anniversary of when she asked me out!"

"And What about you Maehara, still a playboy?" The red head asked with a teasing grin. The blond boy grinned.

"You know it- Just last week I got off with this gorgeous half-Russian girl who AH-" Maehara was cut off when suddenly, out of nowhere Okano kicked him square in the stomach.

"Don't be such a damn perv!" She shouted, cheeks red in anger. Her hair was still short-cropped and a little spiky. Those two hadn't changed a bit, Karma thought fondly.

He drifted around the party, chatting to a few people- he was genuinely interested in what they were up to, after all; Itona had made his own line of robotic toys, Nakamura loved studying abroad in America, school was a lot more lax there. Sugino was on the baseball team and hoping to get scouted. Terasaka was massively tall and had taken up wrestling as a hobbey. He was still as dumb as ever. it was refreshing.

After a while, he spotted Akari and wandered over to her. She was in a deep conversation with Kurahashi and Hara about pudding recipes (At least her love for sweets had never changed). She turned to him as he approached.

"Hey, Karma." She said, casually.

"I got a reply." He said, in a low voice so only she could hear. She gave him a disapproving look.

"I thought you'd given up trying to contact Nagisa." She hissed in reply, her smile still plastered to her face so nobody could tell something was wrong. "Since you can't visit him and all."

"Can't visit him _yet._ " Karma clarified- he'd recently discovered that he couldn't visit inmates at mental institutions until he was 18 without his parent's permission, which of course, those suddenly over-protective bastards wouldn't give. "In December that'll be a whole different story."

"I'm worried about you." Akari said, turning to face him. She glanced around the room at their old classmates who were all talking and laughing with each other. "It feels like we're the only ones who haven't moved on."

"We were the only one's who saw Nagisa first hand after he snapped." Karma said. he sighed. He wanted to be free and unchained from the past like everyone else in this room. He was so tired of this rusty chains binding him to his trauma- but he just couldn't break free.

"I need to see him." He said, finally.

* * *

 **Sorry this was shit. Please review. Things aren't too great for Nagisa RN, will karma be able to save him?**


	3. Chapter 3

_To Nagisa,_

 _Let's stop with the constant apologizing, okay? It's going to get tiring real fast. Lets just accept that you did an unforgivable thing, and you feel awful for it. There's nothing we can say to make it better._

 _I can't visit you until I'm eighteen, and that's still five more months away. Which seems like an eternity when I feel as though I can't resume my life again until I've seen you one last time. I walked by the forensic asylum you're being held at today, at least, I walked by as close as I could get with the ten meter high electric fence. The place looks abysmal- All grey and stony with barred windows. Although, I guess asylums aren't particularly known for their aesthetics._

 _I wonder if I still remember enough from my assassination training to break in?_

 _Akari misses you too. At least, the 'Kayano' part of her does. It's hard to tell which is the real her any more. I think she struggles to tell to. Oh well. At least she's a good actress._

 _Your movie's coming out this month. The hype is unreal. I'm beginning to regret not skipping town. So many paparazzi trying to catch a glimpse of a survivor. 'Fans' crowding my house. The critics reviews are pretty bad though. Apparently the film is 'cliche' and 'Relies on gore'/_

 _It sucks. The only positive is that it gave me the opportunity to pour water down at them. That was funny._

 _Well, Takebayashi is still alive, at least, but he **[CENSORED-CENSORED-CENSORED-CENSORED-CENSORED]** There's not much we can do, but hope we can see him soon._

 _Don't let them fry your brain with ect or muddle it with drugs- at least until December when I come to visit._

 _I want to talk._

 _\- Karma._

Nagisa re-read the letter again and again, chuckling despite himself. The threats to break into the asylum, the revelation he'd poured water on his harassers. That letter was so utterly... _Karma!_

The sound of the blue haired boy's laughter reverberated off the windowless walls of his empty cell. It had been a month since he'd wrote to Karma, and this was his reply. Why had the staff decided to censor the information about Takebayshi again though? To torture him- most likely.

The _people_ who worked here seemed to enjoy making him suffer. They would 'forget' to untie him and take his blindfold off after an experiment, leaving him in the dark for days or even hours (it was hard to tell) and he was sure they often ramped up the electric current, or jabbed him purposefully hard with a needle just to see him squirm. The suffering and isolation had started taking it's toll on his mind.

Differentiating between fantasy and reality had become more difficult. _Don't let them fry your brain._ He couldn't promise anything.

 _'I walked by the forensic asylum you're being held at today.'_ Karma seemed to know more about Nagisa's whereabouts than Nagisa himself did. So he was in an asylum- that made sense. His handlers would never answer his questions. He'd stopped speaking to them- they'd just gag him.

But then- why was he being treated in a laboratory? He hadn't seen any other patients, either. Surely, even for evil killers like him, this was illegal? Who was behind it?

The sound of heavy footsteps broke Nagisa's concentration. _They were coming back.._

The door creaked as it was pushed open and the white-masked figures walked in. Nagisa's eyes widened. He started to shake again and grabbed the letter tight. Fear clenched him.

"Nagisa Shiota." A male voice said. "The procedures will now resume. If you want to retain your letter-writing privileges, I suggest you cooperate."

* * *

 **"Nagisa-chan w-why are you doing this?" 'Karma' cried out, tears filling his brown eyes. He was shirtless, his arms tied above his head, showing off his well-defined six-pack. A maniacal grin grew on 'Nagisa's' face, a she traced her finger down his chest suggestively.**

 **"Because, _darling_ you belong to me now~ Nobody is going to take you away from me." 'Nagisa' simpered, her long black hair falling into her eyes. "I can do various things to you now~"**

 **"N- No please!" 'Karma' cried. "I was saving myself for Manami-Chan!"**

 **"Heh- too late for that now~" 'Nagisa' smirked, as she started to undo his trousers. "Here, _Sweetheart_ , let me make you feel better."**

Karma cringed- this film was even worse than he expected-Over the top gore, Nagisa's torture turned into fetish fodder, cliche characters, bad acting; And they have the nerve to say 'based on a true story'.

Karma didn't know why he thought it was a good idea for him to sneak out of the house with a hood over his face and come to watch the film exploiting the most traumatic thing that had ever happened to him, but he had. He never had been good at staying away from things he should.

Okuda and he had been portrayed as pure, wholesome, popular members of the school who joined in on sports and helped out the elderly. It couldn't be further from the truth- Okuda was quiet, and bookish, and awkward, but sweet and hard-working and obsessed with Chemistry.

She wasn't some generic 'good girl'.

 **"Nagisa-san! I know you're the one behind these disappearances and killings!" 'Asano' said, his green eyes wide behind his glasses. He was hardly taller than 'Nagisa' and seemed more afraid than intimidating. "You've already killed so many people- please. Just turn yourself in- I know the police will more more lenient with you if you do- "**

 **Nagisa smirked, taking a step forward, backing Asano up against the wall. "Oh, Class President. You've always been too smart for your own good- " She said, leaning up to play with the other's hair. Asano flinched away. He was shaking.**

 **"So please- Will you put an end to this?" He whimpered. Nagisa pretended to think.**

 **"Hmm- no! I wont let you or anyone else tear me away from my Karma!" Nagisa shrieked. She pulled out a knife and slashed in across Asano. "Now, let's have some fun, shall we?"**

The rest of the cinema gasped a blond haired girl in the front row buried her face in her boyfriend's chest., But Karma had to stifle a laugh. Asano would be _pissed_ at his portrayal on film. He tried to imagine the real Asano crying and cowering like the one on screen, but not even Karma's imagination would stretch that far. Where did the film-makers get the idea of portraying Asano as the wimpy nerd kid?

 **"Killing you isn't enough- I'm going to mark you for life!" Nagisa cackled, as she held Asano down and dragged a knife across his skin.**

Karma immediately stopped laughing, all humor leaving him as his own scars started to tingle. Suddenly, this film felt too real, and he had to look away for a moment.

 **"This isn't you, Nagisa." Akari said, her blond hair blowing behind her for dramatic effect (Even though the setting was inside). "Your abusive mother and our cruel headmaster and merciless bullies made you this way. If you keep this up, Karma will die."**

 **The screen panned across to the room, showing Okuda's dead body (which for some reason hadn't rotted at all) and Karma, who was still shirtless and was covered in scratches.**

 **"N- No I love Karma!" Nagisa cried, tears running down her face. She ran over and kissed Karma but he didn't wake up. "Karma! Karma! Nooo!"  
She ran and jumped out the window, her body smacking into the floor, and ending up unrealistically intact. The camera zoomed in.**

 _ **The End.**_

 **Nagisa's eye flashed open.**

 _ **Or is it?**_

 _Well. That was a stupid fucking ending._ Karma thought to himself. He wasn't too sure how he was supposed to feel after re-watching the B-movie version of his trauma, scared? angry? triggered? But he mostly just felt annoyed that he'd wasted any money on such a lame movie.

But still. It had made him feel alive for a little while. He felt a little less numb than normal as he walked out of the cinema. His emotions a little less dulled. he felt a fammiliar ache in his stomach, and sting in his scar.

 _Nagisa Shiota_

 _Nagisa Shiota_

 _Nagisa Shiota._

His worst fear and greatest obsession. The boy he had built his identity around. This wasn't healthy, maybe he should just try to forget all about it- He thought of Gakushuu who had moved away to boarding school, dyed his hair and lived under an alias. Maybe Karma could do that too?

But then, when Karma got home and saw Nagisa's letter in the mail-box, he knew that it was impossible.

* * *

 _So I regurgitated the original trashy story into an even trashier parody film! I know I've been shitty at updating, but ty for all the reviews, follows and favs!_

 _So Karma still can't escape the slasher's shadow, and Nagisa can't escape from being experimented on (Not that he'd try, since he still thinks he deserves it). These two characters have been through so much they're pretty numb at this point, but they still can't let what happened go._

 _What do you think should happen next?_


	4. Chapter 4

**_Guess who's not dead, bitches! This crack-taken-seriously story is back again!_**

* * *

 _To Karma,_

 _You don't want me to apologize anymore? Well, I suppose you never did like people doing things that were ultimately pointless. I can respect that._

 _So five more months until you can see me.. It feels like an eternity to me too, everyday is the same were I am at now (Which is, according to you, some sort of asylum). The people here wont speak to me, so I didn't even know were I was until you told me... How crazy is that? I'm not entierly sure about the passage of time either.. how long I've been here. The only thing I have to distract me from the mind-numbing boredom are your letters. And I know I don't deserve them._

 _You always were the best assassin in the class in my opinion, it's part of the reason I admired you so much. That said, I don't think you should break me out of the asylum.. I've already caused you enough problems as it is (thats a joke, right?). We both know I deserve to rot here._

 _I'm sorry they made a movie out of your trauma.. it's been years now and yet the story of what I did is still part of popular culture? No wonder you can't let it go._

 _How is your life now anyway? I can't beleive I haven't properly asked. What are you up to? How are you?... You don't have to tell me those things if you don't want to.._

 _The_ _experiments_ _treatment that they are subjecting me too are pretty_ _torturous_ _intense. So I can't promise my brain wont be completely frazzled by December, but I will try and remain as sane as I can. One thing the doctors have told me is that I have brain damage. In my prefrontal cortex; The part of the brain responsible for regulating judgement, impulse control and management for agression. Apparently when my mother pushed my head it caused a small bleed and explains my 'episode'... still, not an excuse though._

 _(love)_

 _best regards._

 _Nagisa._

* * *

Karma's eyes scanned over the letter again and again as he sat on the bus seat. Like every letter he had received from Nagisa, reading it made him feel overwhelmed with anxiety to the point of nausea. But at the same time, there was that sick thrill of excitement that coursed through his veins and made his scar tingle. _Seriously, what was wrong with him?_ Nagisa was the cause of all of his emotional trauma, the reasonn that Karma could no longer live a 'normal' life, or interact with 'normal' people for an extended amount of time. Nagisa was the reason that Karma had panic attacks at the most inopportune times, the reason Karma could no longer sleep with the light off, the reason the scent of _anything_ rotting would make him have another breakdown.

If it wasn't for what Nagisa did, Karma would be happy now, or at least, happier. He certainly wouldn't be the wreck he was now, who'd been detained in a mental health ward twice before his 18th birthday. Even now, although Karma was functioning better than he was a year ago that was only through the help of psychiatric medication and the occasional glass of wine or shot of whiskey when things got really bad. Most of the time lorazepam and alcohol was all that held him together.

Karma knew, that if he was _smart,_ he'd try to leave this whole Nagisa debacle in his past. But he _couldn't,_ it was hard to explain, but the last three years of Karma's life had been defined by the 'Nagisa incident', it was one of the few things he had left in his life. It was hard not to be obsessed with something when it still felt so unresolved, so present. There was a certain saftey in defining himself by his trauma. It meant he didn't have to focus on the hard task of moving on, of making something of himself, of facing his fears. It had become something of a crutch.

 _I can't leave this alone until I see Nagisa.. Just two more months._

The bus pulled up at Karma's destination and he hopped off, hood still pulled up over his head, hiding his distinctive red hair. The Nagisa Slasher move may of came out months ago, but Karma was still being harassed by fans whenever he was recognized. It was a drag he didn't want to deal with today. Shoving Nagisa's letter into his pocket (while being careful not to crinkle it), Karma made his way towards the looming gates of the cemetery. The looming shadow of the metal gates was stretched by the setting sun in the autumn sky.

Karma shivered.. this October was especially cold.. he pulled his jacket together around him and kept walking with purpose until he found what he was looking for.

A dark haired figure was kneeling in front of one of the graves, not seeming to care that water from the sodden grass was seeping into the knees of his trousers. Despite the chilly weather, he didn't have on a jacket, only a school blazer. Karma recognised him instantly.

"You're going to catch a cold if you get your clothes wet and don't wear a coat, Asano." Karma said with a tone of cation.

"I'm not that weak." Was Asano's reply. He didn't even bother to turn around and face Karma, his eyes still fixed on the grave in front of him that read _Ren Sakikabara._ Either side was _Tomoya Seo, Teppei Araki_ and _Natsuhiko Koyama_.Karma sighed. How things had changed since their middle-school days; He couldn't believe that Asano was the irresponsible one, and Karma lecturing. The tables had certainly turned.

"I didn't say you were weak. I'm saying you'll get a cold." Karma said, walking closer to the other and putting a hand on Asano's shoulder. Asano quickly wiped his eyes and finally turned to look at Karma with bloodshot amethyst eyes. Karma decided not to ackonowledge the fact the other had been crying, he'd rather avoid a fight if at all possible.

"How did you know I'd be here?" Asano asked, as he stood up. The knees of his trousers were ringing wet and grass-stained, but unlike the Asano of three years ago, he didn't seem to care about untidy clothes.

"You told me that this was your first day of autumn break. I knew you'd head here straight after you got back from boarding school." Karma said evenly, trying to gage the situation (What type of Asano is he right now?). "I thought I'd catch up with you before you stayed out here too late. Don't want you to stay out half the night and have your Dad call the police. Again."

Asano scoffed. "That happened one time and I was hardly out _that_ late. The old man was just over-reacting in his old age." He huffed. "And besides, Akabane, you're the last person I want lecturing me on being responsible. _I'm_ not the one who got drunk and had to be taken home by the police."

"Hey, I'm just enjoying my teenage years. You should try it, Mr straight-lace." Karma retorted with a snicker. He felt relieved that it was _this_ Asano he was dealing with. By almost all measures, Asano had made a remarkable recovery from the incident- He'd managed to walk again, and even got into a top boarding school despite being in the hospital for almost two years straight. But Karma knew that a lot of that was for show. Just beneath the surface, Asano was just as damaged as Karma was, and when that shone through, Karma felt as though he was looking at a reflection of his own trauma. He didn't know how to deal with _that_ Asano.

"Enjoying your teenage years, huh? So does that mean no more obsessing over _that_ case?" Asano said with caution in his voice. _that case_ he called it, as if he wasn't directly involved in it. Karma wondered how Asano would react if he admitted he and Nagisa had been exchanging letters. He didn't even want to imagine how angry that would make Asano.. Their tentative 'friendship' that had formed over the years would be completely shattered.

"It's hard not to when I'm being mobbed by fanatics whenever I go out without a hood, and there's _Slasher_ posters everywhere." Karma grumbled. Okay, so maybe that was a slight exaggeration. But the sentiment still stands, Karma thought.

"That's why I keep saying.. you should do what I did. Change your name and move away from here. It's the only way you'll ever be free.. Otherwise you'll just make the incident into part of your identity." Asano said sternly. He and Akari were the only ones who'd speak to Karma like this.. everyone else would tiptoe around the 'fragile' victim. Karma was greatful for their honestly, but at the same time it irked him.

"Now who's lecturing who, Asano." He said sullenly. He glanced at Asano. The guy really must of came straight from school, he still had his uniform on, and a bag slung over his shoulders. He was taller than he was in his middleschool days.. but thinner too. Even the way he walked was different.. less confident, a slightly noticable limp even after so many months of physio-therapy. His previously blond hair had been dyed jet black and Karma swore there was some frost on the tips (Just how long had Asano been kneeling by the grave?). only his eyes remained the same, still as fierce as ever.

"By the way when we're in public I want you to call me Katsumi Hatsu. That's what I go by now." Asano explained. Karma shrugged. Sure. whatever. The red head wondered if there'd ever be a day were he'd make up a new name to disguise his identity. He couldn't imagine it.. He couldn't imagine being anyone other than Karma Akabane, object of Nagisa Shiota's obession and slasher victim.

"So, how is boarding school? Have you managed to make yourself overlord yet?" Karma asked in a jovial manner as they reached the bus stop. Asano looked at him, then looked away, tugging at his blazer sleeves self-consicously in a decidedly un-Asano-like manner.

"It's a work in progress." Asano said evasively. But the look in his eyes said it all. Karma knew the other boy was probably frustrated that he coudn't do things like he could at Kunugigaoka; Asano's injuries meant he no longer had his physical prowess, and missing so much school _must_ make it more difficult to rank at number 1 like he used to. While Asano worried that Karma focused too much on the past, Karma worried that Asano was pushing himself forwards too hard; From the moment Asano woke up from his coma, he'd constantly pushed himself going against medical advice, Walking before the doctors thought he should, sneaking out the hospital when he was still supposed to be on bed-rest, studying when he was supposed to be sleeping. When the doctors and his father tried to convince him to take anti-anxiety medication, he flat out refused and threw the packet in the bin (Karma had tried to get the guy to give the pills to him. That earned him a scolding). Now, even after all he went through, Asano still wasn't satisfied because he wasn't the best pupil in the whole school. It was ridiculous.

Before Karma could articulate a response to Asano, the bus pulled up, and the two of them hopped on.

"Don't I know you two from somewhere?" The driver mused, staring them up and down as they handed in their money. Karma felt Asano tense up next to him.

"We live in the local area- probably seen us around somewhere there." Karma said quickly, slamming down the money and dragging Asano away to the back bus seat as quickly as possible. The bus driver shrugged and set off driving. The sun was completely gone from the sky now, and the warm bus was a comforting escape from the icy temperatures outside.

"I bet if I hadn't come to collect you, you'd still be in that graveyard, wouldn't you?" Karma said, turning to Asano, only to find the other had fallen asleep. _no way! They'd been sat down for less than a minute.. Nobody sleeps that fast!_

Karma rolled his eyes and sent a quick text to Akari saying he'd met up with Gakushuu, then sat in silence, staring out the window. As soon as he had nothing to distract himself, the thoughts of Nagisa returned... he tried to resist, but after a few seconds, Karma had pulled Nagisa's letter out his pocket and began to read.. He'd already read this letter over a dozen times, but it still made his heart pound and his palms tingle. He couldn't work out if that was a good feeling or not.

 _I have brain damage. In my prefrontal cortex; The part of the brain responsible for regulating judgement, impulse control and management for agression. Apparently when my mother pushed my head it caused a small bleed and explains my 'episode'_

So Nagisa's breakdown hadn't been purely psychological. His _literal_ physical brain had broke as well.. Did that mean Nagisa wasn't responsible for his actions even partially? Did this change things? ( _Could he forgive Nagisa now?)._ Karma pictured Nagisa in his mind's eye. He was so tiny, so timid looking. Karma had originally sought Nagisa out as a friend because of how 'harmless' he seemed (Oh, the irony). But still, even after seeing first hand all the horrors that Nagisa had inflicted, it was hard to reconcile the image of Nagisa as a 'killer'.

If only Karma had stopped Nagisa's bitch of a mother.. if only he had done more.. he knew Nagisa had problems, yet Karma did nothing. _Don't blame yourself, Karma,_ Akari's voice spoke in his head. Easy for her to say. She had been the 'rescuer' after all. While Karma was just the victim who let everything happen.

Karma felt his amber eyes drift over to Asano's sleeping form (the guy must be exhausted to sleep here of all places). Peeking out from the very edge of Asano's sleeve, Karma could just about make out the sliver of white scar-tissue. Asano's scars from Nagisa's attack. Nagisa's art. Karma knew that Asano was covered in them, but he'd never seen them, not properly. Asano always wore long-sleeved shirts and trousers even in the height of summer. Karma knew the scars that marred Asano's skin were probably one of his biggest insecurities. He knew Asano couldn't bare to look at them himself, and the thought of someone else seeing them was even more mortifying.

But still.

Karma wanted to see it.. It was Nagisa's art. Evidence that Nagisa existed. (And the most twisted, depraved part of himself was jealous. Jealous that Asano had gotten more scars from Nagisa than he did. Wasn't Karma supposed to be Nagisa's obsession?)

Slowly, fully aware that if Asano caught him this could be the end of their friendship, Karma rolled up the sleeping boy's sleeve to expose more of the scar's. Nagisa's work. At first, it just looked like random cuts, but when Karma looked closer, it was actually kanji for _monster._ The scars were _everywhere._ _What had Nagisa been thinking when he'd done this?_

Forgetting to act with discretion in his thirst for _more evidence of Nagisa._ But suddenly, he felt a hand grab his wrist and push him away. Karma jumped back on instinct.

"I expect this from the common, vulgar people who chase after sensational stories like a pack of hungry wolves, putting their own curiosity above sensitivity, but not from you, Akabane." Asano hissed, before letting go of Karma's wrist, tugging down to leaving, and marching off the bus at whatever random bus stop they had currently reached. Karma took a second to get over the shock of being grabbed before hurrying off after Asano.

"Wait!" Karma called out, as the two of them jumped off the bus at an unfamiliar part of town. The sky was completely black now, the only illumination came from the dimly-lit street lights. Asano ignored him, walking as fast as he could down the street away from Karma. Karma caught up with him easily though, much to Asano's frustration.

"Just leave me alone." Asano hissed, his eyes were blazing with fury, but also betrayal. Those eyes said all the things that Asano was too proud to say. Karma felt a stab of guilt. he considered grabbing Asano by the shoulders and forcing him to listen, but decided against it.

"I'm sorry." Karma said (It was rare for someone like him to apologise for anything).

"Why? Why did you do that?" Was Asano's response. "Curiosity? What was it?"

"I- Well- " Karma started. It was rare for him not to be able to find the right words. How could he explain this as a way for Asano to understand. Understand that he hadn't meant to make Asano feel as though he betrayed his trust. "Okay! You were right when you said I'm making this Nagisa thing into part of my identity. The whole thing still feels so unresolved. My life has been defined by that incident for three years, yet there's still so much I don't know.. about Nagisa.. about what happened."

"Jesus.. You're just as obsessed with him as he was with you." Asano retorted, a harshness in his eyes. "I don't understand you, Karma, he mutilated you, he _killed_ your friends. Why is it that you seem so reverent of that monster?"

 _He's not a monster._ Was Karma's first reactionary thought.

"I'm sorry, Asano but my feelings don't make sense. I can't deal with this in the 'typical' way like you do; Hate the bad guy and try to move on. Nagisa was my friend! it's not so easy as him being the 'bad guy'. Its more complicated for me. There's things I still need to come to terms with!" Karma said back, feeling on the verge of shouting. It wasn't exactly Asano he was mad at, but the world who judged him for not reacting to the trauma in an 'acceptable' way like Asano did. "It isn't fair that people just put all these expectations on me about how I should act!"

"He killed people, Karma. What's so complicated about that." Asano replied coldly, shutting down futher conversation. Karma felt a tinge of frustration.. for the first time he'd tried to explain his feelings to someone only to be shut down. Well. Maybe it was his own fault for trying to open up to Asano after betraying the other's trust. But still. The two of them walked side by side for at least an hour, a tense wall of silence between them. Both was annoyed at the other.

"Your house is that way." Asano said curtly as they reached a more suburban and familiar area. Karma just nodded.

"I'll walk you home first." He said sullenly, knowing it would cause another argument.

"That isn't necessary." Asano bit back, attempting to quicken his pace, but his limp was more pronounced. Karma noted that the other was looking a little shaky too.. a day of travelling and sitting in a cold graveyard must of worn down Asano's energy. He might not act like it, but Karma knew Asano still wasn't fully physically recovered, and he still had a tendency to collapse if he pushed himself too hard.

"I'm not leaving." Was Karma's reply. No matter how tense it was between them at this moment in time, Karma refused to leave the other and be responsible if Asano collapsed in the street alone.

"Stop treating me like I'm weak." Asano growled, but it wasn't very convincing when his pace was getting slower and slower, despite attempting to appear 'fine'.

"There's no point arguing about this." Karma said. He must of had this argument with Asano almost every time he'd seen Asano since the 'incident'. Asano _hated_ being helped no matter how much he needed it.

"I don't need your pity- " Asano started too say, but stopped abruptly when one of his legs gave out under him. he slipped forwards, only managing to stop himself from falling by grabbing onto the fence. Karma was there in an instant, ready to help him up.

"Just take it easy and stop trying to walk so fast- " he started to say, but was cut off when Asano swatted him away.

"I hate this!" Asano hissed, glaring down at his legs with eyes full of frustration. "I hate this weak useless body! I hate that you are too afraid to leave this pathetic, fragile, injured _boy_ to walk home by himself because you don't think he's strong enough."

Karma sighed. There was a million supportive things he could say to Asano, about how he shouldn't be so hard on himself, since many doctors predicted he wouldn't be able to walk at all, how overcoming those odds proved he wasn't _really_ weak. But he'd said those a million times before, and they'd never made Asano feel any better. That boy would only be satisfied when he was once again in peak physical and mental condition. Able to take on the world like before.

"That's just how things are right now." Karma replied, his voice neither mocking nor pitying. Instead neutral. "You're going to get stronger, but right now, this is the position you're in right now."

"Giving lectures doesn't suit you." Asano said as he slowly pulled himself upright, glaring at Karma as he did so. He was still pissed. The two of them walked together until they reached Asano's house, the silence once again resuming. It was only when they reached the gates to the Asano residence that Asano spoke up again.

"I wasn't strong anyway." Asano muttered quietly. "I couldn't save anyone. Not even myself."

"Me neither." Was Karma's wistful reply. Almost as soon as they reached the gate, a slightly-frantic looking Gakuhou Asano burst out from it. He must of been watching for Asano's return from the window.

"Gakushuu. you should of been home hours ago." His father chided, his frantic expression quickly receding and being replaced by that usual stern look he had. Gakushuu gave him a look of insolence.

"I told you I'd be late."

"I suppose you probably wouldn't be home at all if Akabane hadn't gone to fetch you. I assume that's what happened." Gakuhou said, acknowledging Karma with a nod. Karma could only stiffly nod back. "Would you like to come inside, Akabane? you at least deserve some tea for taking care of my irresponsible son?"

"Thanks but no thanks." Karma said, forcing a it wasn't for his and Asano's argument, he probably would of accepted. Dealing with the former Chariman always made him feel conflicted. On the one hand, he'd created the sadistic school system that compunded Nagisa's breakdown, and his strict method of raising Gakushuu was probably half the reason the boy felt so much disgust at being 'weak'. On the other, Karma had come to realise that despite how he acted, the Chairman really _did_ love his son. The way he fell apart when Gakushuu was in that coma was proof enough. "I'll catch you later, Asano's."

With that, Karma left. He'd have to make up with Gakushuu later. God. His obsession with Nagisa was not only damaging himself, but others around him. But all he could think about was what to write in the next letter. He hated himself for it.

* * *

Something about Nagisa was changing. He could tell that much, or at least, he thought he could. Was it just the anti-psychotics and sedatives, or could he feel the fundamental build of his fingers altering.. they felt stretchy somehow. Maybe it was just tactile hallucinations as a result of all the isolation and torture, but Nagisa was sure he could feel some sort of metamorphosis occurring. The tests that the scientists conducted on him no longer left him feeling nauseous and sore, but rather, stronger and more invigorated.

He was sure one time while they were experimenting on him, he managed to wake up briefly during the procedure despite the anesthetic. He was sure that he saw them stretching his fingers to impossibly long lengths, as if they were pieces of spaghetti. it was so surreal. So strange.

A scientist was stood over him. The guy had dark green hair that reminded Nagisa of slimy seaweed, his face was long and his chin had a cleft in it. However, the most startling thing about him was his left eye, or rather, his lack of it. In it's place was a bionic optical device that shone red. Through the haze of anesthesia, Nagisa had a hard time recognizing the man.. but finally, it came to him in a flash. _Kotarou Yanasigawa; The man who created Korosensei and blew up the moon!_

"We were right to take things slow this time." Yanasigawa was saying, although his voice sounded muffled in Nagisa's ears. "We wont have any mistakes like last time, _this_ super-being will bend to our will entirely and _he_ wont blow up after a year. How laughable that the guinea-pig's own student will become our new lab rat!"

Yanasigawa and the others around him laughed. Nagisa felt only a flash of dread.. so this meant.. that he was being turned into a monster like Korosensei!?

Nagisa wasn't sure what was real and what wasn't any more. All he had to ground himself in reality was Karma's letters. They were his salvation, the one bit of salvation in this cold, confusing world he lived in.

* * *

 _ **Okay so this chapter is waaaaay longer than any of the others! But I really wanted to explore Karma's weird relationship towards Nagisa in more depth, and I did this by juxtaposing him against Asano. They have both dealt with their trauma in very different ways, each with it's own pros and cons. They kind of have a weird sort of friendship in this, because those two and Akari are the only ones who dealt with 'snapped-Nagisa' first hand. Asano runs away from his problems, Akari acts as though they aren't real when it suits her, and Karma can't bring himself to escape his. I also used this chapter to try and highlight how badly Karma's obession with Nagisa is imapcting upon his functioning, and how it presides above all else for him.**_

 _ **The Nagisa part was pretty short, but I've revealed a big twist! Yup! The scientists experimenting on Nagisa are working under Shiro, who is trying to turn Nagisa into another 'super being' he can control this time. I wrote this story before the Assclass manga actually ended, so I didn't know Shiro was going to end up paralysed. So we'll havr to say in this AU, things ended a little differently.**_

 _ **Let me know if I should continue all the way until Karma and Nagisa meet! Let me know what you think of the story! If you have any ideas for the story let me know :D**_


End file.
